The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, the realtor signs are swinging in the marginally warmed breeze.
Yet here I sit, thinking about murder—the fictional dinner-party whodunnit kind, inspired by these nearby homes on the market, any one of which could get away with it.
* * *
674 Quinnipiac Ave, New Haven
3 bd | 2.5 ba | 1,725 sq ft | $741 HOA | $349,923
A murder mystery at this currently minimalist condo on the Quinnipiac would benefit from nosy neighbor witnesses and a plunge into the river. Imagine a dinner party for a young group of friends whose messy professional jealousies and romantic entanglements make everyone a suspect. Meanwhile, the square footage, waterfront locale and intimate view of the Grand Avenue Bridge (where the dramatic climax really ought to play out) make the above-average HOA fee feel less like murder.
* * *
841 Prospect St, Hamden
3 bd | 3 ba | 2,070 sq ft | 0.53 ac | $695,000
A couple of blocks from Edgerton Park, this updated Midcentury Modern home just over the Hamden border blends textures and influences to the point that it’s difficult to know where to look, which is of course to our killer’s advantage. Shoji doors open to a room off the main level. A white circle on one wall playfully suggests it’s the remains of the circular hole cut out of another. A bathroom is papered in both Dalmatian and reverse Dalmatian. But those are all red herrings. The most important bit of stage-setting is a long upper hallway with a metal railing, overseeing the two-story common space and evoking the classic noir facade of a midcentury double-decker motel.
* * *
1795 Wolcott Rd, Wolcott
3 bd | 2 ba | 2,000 sq ft | 0.37 ac | $999,900
Any investigator’s attempts to narrow down suspects would have to take this charming lake home’s branching tiered topography into account. The waterfront offers the innocent a motive to break off and enjoy the killer view—but might give the killer human the opportunity they need to strike. A long staircase up from the house to the main drive, itself said to be 200 feet long, rules out a quick getaway for anyone, while a boat parked at the dock generates interesting narrative possibilities.
* * *
30 Meeting House Ln, Madison
5 bd | 3.5 ba | 3,912 sq ft | 1.60 ac | $1,695,000
This historic Madison home along the town green is filled with delicious plot twists: bulging front pillars under a narrow steep pitch; a “striking curved eaved roofline… reminiscent of a pagoda”; rooms of (mostly) gorgeous wallpaper; wide-plank floors painted with black and white motifs (including as pictured at top); five working fireplaces; and a kind of conservatory whose wooden framing is seamlessly built into a surrounding stone wall. Built in 1820 and designed by the same architect as the neighboring church, the house is often more stunning than a blow to the head from a candlestick in the lounge.
* * *
1233 Rock Rimmon Rd, Stamford
8 bd | 14 ba (10 full) | 15,994 sq ft | 268.4 ac | $75,000,000
But it’s this sprawling estate on the Connecticut-New York border, albeit with a lighter, non-canonical aesthetic, that really lends itself to Clue-style hijinks. The listing almost comes out and says so during a partial chronicling of assets: “magnificent formal entertaining rooms, 11 fireplaces, two elevators, a paneled library, sun-filled conservatory, billiard room, sauna, gym and an Olympic-sized indoor pool with spa.” An outdoor pool and pool house belong as well, among “vast, beautifully designed grounds showcas[ing] formal gardens, a private lake, woodland trails, a hedge maze and lighted tennis court.” How much would you bet there’s a secret passageway or two, too?
The kitchen and the study, or the mausoleum and the human-sized chess board or whatever, aren’t going to connect themselves.
Written by Dan Mims. Images sourced from the relevant linked real estate listings. Image 1 features a view inside 30 Meeting House Lane in Madison.
